I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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