he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i can't believe i had my finger in that
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
