It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The feeling are messing with the penis
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize