All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
