so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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