i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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