just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
