so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
