ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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