Sry I called you an 8
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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