I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
