thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
