He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
