guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
