I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
