im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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