My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
