soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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