end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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