i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
