Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
