Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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