Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
