I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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