If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
