I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
