Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You have to summon your inner elephant
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
