Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
