He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
