Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Duck Duck Cougar?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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