It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize