i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I seem to have left my pride at pride
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
