It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
