Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
