No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How external is "for external use only"?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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