i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
worst night to have a conscience
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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