so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
