I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
