You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
