Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize