You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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