you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
