sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i drank out of a bidet.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
