He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We left the knife in your bed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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