Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
