I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
