We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
