He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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