at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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