Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
