I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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