Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
