Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
