yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
