shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
