I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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