If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
