Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I looked at my own cervix.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
