So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
