I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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