I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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