dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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