You're completely useless in the revolution.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
