At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
