i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
