i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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