Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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