The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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